Florida vacation DAY POINT FIVE (o.5).

We’ve finally consolidated our pictures from the Harry Potter vacation so HERE I AM!  Well, Ok so i’m only going to post one day at a time since so much shit happened, and I know attention spans are limited.

As most of you know, Troy planned a surprise vacation for my 30th birthday, which also happens to be on Valentine’s day (that’s right, the NATION celebrates my birthday!). It was going to be a total surprise until the day of our flight out, but in the end I started getting really freaked out about what I should pack, and eventually badgered him into telling me where we were going (it’s ok, I pretty much knew anyway).


I knew we were going because about a month ago Troy blew it and said “you.. are going … to FREAK. OUT.”   and there is only one place in the world I would ever freak out about visiting.   Paris?  No.  Hawaii? No.  The moon? Ok maybe, but no. Harry Potter Land???? YES.  And it turns out there are 2 parks located at Harry Potter land (Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure), but that was besides the point.  It’s all Harry Potter land to me.

SO, I was able to meticulously plan for a whole week, and finally the day of our flight came.  Mind you, I don’t really go on legit vacations. Ever. 2 nights away on the weekend, at most.  A visit to the beach for one day here, a night in San Antonio (what? why?) there.  I don’t think I’ve even been away from Texas more than 5-6 times in my life, total.  So to go on a 5 day vacation in another state is just insane to me. Not to mention a vacation where I could do what I want, when I want? Fuck yes!

We had our amazing lovely friend Chris drive us to the airport on Wednesday around 4pm. I wish we could have someone drive us around all the time; it was super amazing not to have to worry about shit like parking garages. Plus you can’t argue in front of company, so everything’s a bit more cheerful.

Getting in to the airport and past security was a breeze, and I didn’t even get athlete’s foot from standing barefooted in the body xray scanner!

I treated Troy and myself to a mocha and a chocolate almond croissant as well as a turkey wrap that looked like it had been made by a 9 year old fat kid, all of this for the low low price of TWENTY THREE FUCKING DOLLARS. It was a great birthday treat, however, since I don’t normally eat chocolate croissants and shit.

The flight was a total breeze and during the 3 hours I was able read half of the first Harry Potter book that Kelly lent me. You see, Kelly is a crazy bitch who got all jealous that I was going to Harry Potter land before she did, because she fancies herself a bigger fan than I am just because she’s read the books and I haven’t. So I forced her to let me borrow the first book and swore I’d read it before we touched down on Florida soil.  WELL, I only got through half because Troy thought Jet Blue had wifi; he didn’t bring a book because he was going to watch Netflix on his iPad, and it turns out they DONT have wifi so he kept talking to me the whole 3hr flight.

The book is pretty neat, though. The first movie is almost word for word with the first book, and reading it is pretty much just playing the movie out in your head really slowly, which I am all for.

We got to Orlando around 9pm and by the time we were done with baggage claim and rental car shit it was past 10pm. We decided to get dinner before checking in at the hotel, but didn’t know where to go.  My FB buddy, Sabrina, messaged me earlier that week and said I MUST go to Cafe Tu Tu Tango while we were in FL, so we googled it and woo hoo! It was right next to our hotel.

We get there and are seated immediately since it’s late on a Wednesday night.  This place.. is.. amazing.  It belongs in Austin.  It’s an artist themed tapas bar and we could not be more in love with the place


glitter on the booths!

The backs of the booths we were sitting on are striped and glittery, and the wall above was lined with Warhol-esque soup cans. They had a section for a guest painter to come in and paint shit. WHy? I donno! But they have it!  They also have this sweet David Bowie album art:


I confess, I asked if it was Liz Taylor,  at  first.. :/

And they also have chandeliers and shit, and the whole place is so awesome you could dress up all fancy, or dress normal and either way you fit right in!

And the food! Ohhhmygod. We tried the alligator bites first, which were CRAZY awesome. I’ve only had alligator once before and it was tough as fucking shoe leather, but this was like eating McDonald’s chicken nuggets but shut yo mouth dont ever compare this place to McDonalds how dare you!



Those right there are pork belly Reuben sliders. How fucking adorable are those!  AND they came with bacon infused fingerling potato salad!!  Hot damn I will be going back to Florida just to come here again for this!


Yucca fries!!!

and THEN we had Cuban sliders with yucca fries which was the best thing ever. They came with some fancy sauce, but the fries were insane all by themselves. They were like puffy little fried strips of cloud, I tell you!


Troy’s favorite painting displayed in the restaurant

We dont have a picture of the chocolate banana bread pudding with salted caramel gelato, but that’s because it was too much to handle and take a picture at the same time. It was incredible. By the end of the meal Troy and I were both making plans for when to come back. I wanted to come back for my birthday, but our waitress said they were booked solid, since it’s Valentine’s day and all.   When we left we asked the hostess about reservations again, and as she was telling us No DIce, a manager dude came up to us to ask us how our meal was. We explained the situation and he again confirmed that they were incredibly booked, but told us to call up that day and ask for Troy (woah!! HIS name was Troy, too!) and he would see what he could do.


We finally set off to check in to the hotel, which I was very hesitant about. See, now that i’m 30, I’ve become ridiculous at researching and planning everything. I read every review I could about our hotel (Avanti resort) and let me tell you.. the reviews ain’t pretty. The photos look really awesome on their webiste, but literally almost every review was like “DO NOT BE FOOLED BY THE PHOTOS!”  There are so many horror stories and complaints about how dirty the laminate floors were (they use faux wood floors to keep allergies down, so they say) and just general horror stories about crappy service and ugly rooms.

We got to our room and hot damn! It was not shabby, at all!


Yes, I do this 100% of the time

Are you shitting me? for $45 a night?  It was like, the best deal I’d ever seen! AND free shuttles to and from Universal!

 I think this is the link to my yelp review?  You should read it, it’s kind of funny…

Anyhoo! That’s day one :) Everything was perfect, which is just fucking nuts because some sort of shit always goes down when major life events are happening.  OH JUST YOU WAIT.

The Bad Foot

It was a mistype, you see?

“I promise to write 90 blogs in 90 days” was really supposed to say “I promise not to write 90 blogs in 90 days.”   duUUUuuh.   It’s not me, it’s you.  Just remember that.

Did we last leave off with my bum ankle? What was that, like in December? OH well ok see, after running 5 miles average every day my left ankle just kind of told me he’d had it and packed up and left.  Now my ankle is a broken home.   It started out feeling like a bone was sticking straight through the bottom of my foot. I tried to push past it and continued running, and even got another pair of new shoes. Then the pain increased (which is WHY I NEVER “PUSH THROUGH IT”)  and  moved to the far left outer side; each week the pain moved up a bit until it decided to take firm root in my ankle, right around the sexy ankle bone that sticks out, and kind of above it, too.

I’ve been running sporadically a few times a week, heating then icing it, tiger balm-ing it, and bought some goddamn expensive compression socks because I felt like that was the next step.  I took a whole month off of running, even. No dice!  Macaulay just does not want to heal (I named my left foot Macaulay and my good right foot Elijah). I don’t know what’s going on, but it’s like the universe really doesn’t want me to run.


1. A few weekends ago Troy and I went to an adult play land/obstacle course type thing as a cheap date.  We were standing on 2 halves of a stability ball, preparing to knock each other off with giant q-tips when Troy fell off, catapulting his half disc straight up right into my bad ankle. It was the closest I have come to crying in public since my former shitty boss at my first ever shitty office job gave me a lateral demotion during a review.  It hurt real real bad, is what I’m trying to say. If I’m ever crying in public, it’s because I’m either in some intense unbearable pain, or I’m being forced to give some sort of speech.

2. A few days ago Troy attempted to give me a foot massage while we were watching TV; he tried to pull me closer by accidentally grabbing my bum ankle with a crunching Hulk-like grip, causing me to scream in pain and whimper like a little bitch as I scoot-retreated over to my side of the couch. No foot massage was had, and no running for me the next day.

3. Then this morning Troy really wanted to show me how he used peroxide to dissolve some blood stains on the carpet, but I was busy perusing Imgur (plus I had already used a natural essential-oil based spot remover on the blood and I didn’t care about peroxide) so he picked me up from the computer room office chair to carry me into the hallway in order to “show me,” but misjudged the width of the door frame and bashed my bad ankle trying to get through.  Once again, howling and clutching said bad ankle ensued and my afternoon run plans have been canceled.

Wait a minute, I’m noticing a pattern here.  I don’t think it’s the Universe that doesn’t want me to run; I’m fairly sure it’s just Troy.

Anyhoo. Let’s change the subject. Here’s an recap of what’s happened since you last laid eyes on my blog:

Christmas was actually really awesome. Troy and I had a Harry Potter marathon and at one point bought out all of HEB’s Christmas candy that was on sale in order to recreate a Hogwarts Express candy trolley


Wizards don’t get diabeetus, Harry

We couldn’t find the Harry Potter Jelly beans so instead I’d grab 3-4 random flavors and make Troy eat them to see how gross they tasted. I became increasingly frustrated because he would never admit any of it was gross, so I started intentionally picking out the bad flavors. He didn’t even flinch when I combined black licorice, buttered popcorn, and pear.  It was infuriating.

Anyhoo, that was fun.  Christmas was fun, in general.

Angie visited for a few days. We spent a half a day wondering around Town Lake, trying to find a bathroom because Angie didn’t pee before we left.  It was a good visit overall, but as it was the first visit since I quit drinking I’m afraid it was fairly dull. That’s the price you have to pay when I’m sober. A BORING ass time!

I watched quite a few movies:

Hunger Games – Catching Fire. SO awesome.
Wolf of Wall Street – ohmygod WAY awesome.
American Hustle – ok, yes awesome. And if you ever want to know what it feels like to date me just pay attention to Jennifer Lawrence’s character.  This is not bragging in the slightest; in fact, I was cringing while watching the movie. When she goes off on the rant about the microwave and why doesn’t he have it gold plated and wear it on a chain around his neck, Troy and I looked at each other wide-eyed because we both knew that was me up on the screen.  It was really painful to watch, and we got a pretty good laugh off of it.

One lesser known movie I must recommend is Take this Waltz. This movie is incredibly gut wrenching and beautiful and depressing and just fascinating to me. I have developed the weirdest crush on Michelle Williams, and once you get past the weird baby talk between her and Seth Rogan, this movie is just amazing.  I’ve never had a movie make me feel warm and fuzzy, and then slap my face with a cold bucket of water a split second later.  Also, during a party scene there’s an amazing cover of Leonard Cohen’s “Closing Time” done by Feist, which can only be found on the movie’s soundtrack. Also, Sarah Silverman plays a relatively serious part as a recovering alcoholic. Also, I don’t actually mind Seth Rogan in this movie. Also, I just cannot say enough good things about this movie.

We just watched Ender’s Game last night, which ended up being a lot better than I thought it would be. Ok, I actually went into it without knowing anything about the movie, and just based off the name expected it to be some sort of a football movie..  so there was no where to go but up.  BUT. It was surprisingly neat.

What else…. OH.  GUESS WHO’S BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP??  Me. Mine. That’s who.  The big 3 – 0.  But to be honest with you, I’ve  been telling people I’m 30 for the past 2 years because I didn’t want it to be any kind of huge shock when the day finally rolled around.

I own compression socks, and I’m turning 30.  Being a grown up finally hit me the other day, not because of the compression socks or the inevitable exit of my 20′s, but because I just found out my tax return will be a considerable amount and my first thought was “YES! I can pay off half of the rest of my student loans!!!”   And to make it even worse I later decided to use half of  my return to pay off a large part of my loans, then take the rest and start up another savings account :/   lame. lamelamelame.

BUT. On the bright side Troy is taking us on a surprise vacation for my nationally celebrated birthday!  He has managed to keep it a complete surprise for over a month, and every time he exclaims how exciting it’s going to be I make him cough up a hint. So far I know we’re going on a plane trip, and it is a  direct flight, and also I’m going to “freak out.”

I guess that’s enough for now. No more promises for a while.

I quit running an hour ago but my back is still sweating

It’s making my body and my shirt cold. Gross.

5 miles in 55 minutes beeeeiiiaeieeiatch!  I did 5.25 until the treadmill shut itself down cos it was all, “no, no please massa no MO!” and I was like, “THAT’S WHAT YOU GET for making me manually speed up and slow down!”  Mk, see that’s one thing I like better about my work gym treadmill vs the planet ghetto fitness treadmill   –  work gym treadmill has like, 5 buttons you can push to speed up to a certain speed (3,6,7 and.. lets say 8 then 9 I don’t know I don’t use those last 2 buttons).   PGFitness does not have such a thing that I”m aware of but it’s entirely possible that the treadmill is capable of this because I haven’t really taken the time out to actually look at the display. I know you can select certain work outs, but I’m not willing to give up control.

I think my goal for next month is going to be just running for a full hour, straight. No walking.  I don’t know why I’m making this a goal, like, why the fuck is this even a goal, i have no idea. I just like running.

But my foot feels pretty much mostly fine! I only felt a very slight pain, but nothing that would make me miss my 5 mile goal. Aaaaand now my knees are giving me crap.  I KNOW, body! I KNOW i’m too fat to be doing this to you, just bear with me for another few weeks and the load should be a bit more bearable.  That’s right. Weeks.  You may not know this about me, but my body reacts insanely well to any sort of fitness. Ok, well only my lower half does. My upper half clings to it’s insulation like nobody’s business.  Working out with any mild intensity usually turns me from an hourglass shape into a straight up apple, which sucks because I’ve read several sentences that say apple shapes are generally more susceptible to all kinds of cancers, diseases, strokes, and just general ugliness and sloppiness at home I don’t remember where i read this but I read it once and that’s all that matters.  I just can’t win is my point.

I cannot promise that I will be writing this weekend. I have THINGS scheduled, and that is a total 180 difference from my usual weekend routine, and the panic has already set in.

I was going to write something nice about someone, but I just realized I need to get dinner started.



Better late than.. some time later

Today was mildly uneventful so I’ll just make this one quick and painful. I was able to run today at Work Gym but after a mile my foot started giving me lip so I jumped off and did the elliptical for a minute. After a full minute of mind numbing boredom I hopped off and decided to get back on the treadmill.  Bam.  Another mile down.  Foot pain crept up at mile 2. Did a minute of elliptical and foot felt ok.  Bam another mile thrown down.. and another and ANOTHER AND ANOTHER.  Oh wait, jk, I only did 3.05 miles total sorry I got caught up in my awesome Rocky-esque story.  Around mile two, Skinny Blonde Ponytail-Bobber girl came in; maybe it’s because she lost her pep because she has S.A.D, or maybe she read this blog somehow and found out I hate her Cheerleader gait, but she didn’t seem near as annoying today. When I asked her if it was ok to leave the TV on she responded it was fine, and I imagined us striking up a conversation, sharing injury stories, and becoming besties forever, but then my pony tail holder flew out of my hair and bounced off the treadmill belt and onto the floor and I forgot about our budding possible bffdom…   Maybe one day, blonde bobby hair girl.     But probably not.


I was here the whole time what are you talkingabout

Hieeee!  Soooo, guess who went through a littlebit of a blog depression because she couldn’t run for a whole week?  THIS psycho, that’s who!

My foot kept doing a wishywashy “I’m fine, I’m FINE, ok? i swear, leave it. NO I’M NOT FINE WHEN I SAY I’M FINE IT MEANS I’M NOT FINE DONT YOU KNOW BY NOW ohh no, it’s ok. I’m fine, really. Keep walking” bullshit.

We had our company Christmas party last weekend, and much like the vain idiot I am, I had to wear heels.  The party was great, tons of fun, but I held back from twerkin’ the dance floor out of respect for my foot.  I was trying to be responsible. But when I came home I shucked the heels off and when I stepped my left foot down on the floor a pain like a mini He-Man summoning the powers of Grayskull radiated from my foot to my face and I fell (very gracefully) to the floor while emitting a high pitched shriek.  I shakily stood up and… walked away. My foot was fine.  What?  I don’t know.  The rest of the week my arch and heel kept flaring up at random times, so I wore my house booties to work like a fucking hobo. I can’t tell you how many times I got “hey, getting comfortable at work, are we?” in the break room (ok it was only twice).

But how cool is it that I work for a company who throws legitly awesome company parties?? Right?


The shadows make me look like I’m hovering

Here’s what I wore to the party, damned heels and all.  Clearly you can see I was going for a chola flapper from the 1980′s type look. I’ll fuck you up, esssssse! I’ll choke you with a scunci while doing the Charleston.

Anyhoooo, heh. I got NEW new shoes!


Like toe shoes, but even dumber!

Look at these babies!  They look like shoes Ninja Turtles would wear if they needed shoes.  

So, after the Ryka debacle I swore to buy some really amazing shoes, no matter the price… but then I saw these Brooks on sale from $100 down to $30 and with my $10 off coupon I said “sign me the fuck up!”  That’s just how I shop. I really fucking hate shopping, so I walk in and see something that look like it’ll work, and then I mash it into the shape I want until it works, just so I don’t have to spend any more time shopping.  But turns out no mashing is needed!  I got to run for the first time today in a whole week and lemmetellyou, it was motherfucking awesome. SO far, the shoes seem like they’ll be a good fit. The toe part is probably too wide which gives my toes extra room for activities, and there are legit laces so my feet don’t slide to and fro… added bonus woo hoo.  They are light as smaug and if I knew what crack was like, I’d say that running again in these new shoes felt like doing crack, or however you phrase the utilization of crack I wouldn’t know because I don’t do drugs (anymore) mkay?

Bottom line, I got in 2.35 miles before my foot started in on it’s PMSsy bullshit of being like “no keep going, c’mon it’s fine, just focus on the other foot HOW DARE YOU NOT PAY ATTENTION TO ME YOU JUST TOSS ME AWAY ONCE I FEEL BETTER YOU BITCH I’M GOING TO MAKE YOU PA-no no, it’s ok. I’m good, really this time. I love you, shhhhh.”

So there you have it.  That’s what happened. I make no promises because I have no idea what’s going down tomorrow.  I’m fairly sure this whole foot pain things is my body’s way of telling me I’m too fat to be doing 5 miles every day…  What a conundrum! It’s just like the “you dont have enough job experience to work for our company”  yeah ok. well how the fuck am I supposed to lose weight if I cant run, hmmm foot????


5.3 miles is the loneliest number

When you forget to bring your headphones to the gym :(

I was forced to watch TWO whole episodes of HIMYM!  Why?? Because the work gym TV blows and likes to trick you when changing the channels, and you see the channel title says “Community” or “Extreme Anorexia” and you get really excited but then the screen blacks out and says SIGNAL LOST and for some reason you do not get to watch those shows but you have to wait like, 20 seconds for the signal lost to pop up so then you realize that you should just leave it on whatever “decent” show you can find so as to not waste time.

UGH that was a terrible hour. That show is not even funny! This is my impression of each of the characters:

Marshall – “oh look at me, I’m an attractive, funny actor that this show has somehow made ugly and just plain ridiculous and I’m supposed to look adorable in this relationship, but really it’s just all disgustingly sappy and dumb”
Lily – “I think I’m sassy and adorable, but really I just make Ava want to puke. I should have just capped my career off at Buffy and called my life a success”
Barney – ” WAIT FOR IT”  *canned laughter*
Ted – “meh mehhhhehhhh boo hoo hooo”
Robin – “I am the only redeeming aspect of this show.”

So yeah, I left my mp3 player at home so I didn’t even have my Static-X jams to give me that extra push during the commercials. Speaking of, lets assess this whole music deal.

I honestly don’t understand how people can NOT listen to Static-X when working out.

For instance, lets take the song Push It. The main lyrics are as such:

Yeahhh, you push it
Yeahhh, you push it
Yeahhh, you push it

I mean, how can you not be motivated by angry white men yelling at you to push it?


These guys clearly understand the pain of working out

Then there’s my favorite song, Machine.  This is the song I use to push myself to the extreme when I am insanely tired, usually at the end of the run.  Ok, see, what happens is that the song has a kind of a build up, and every time the chorus starts up I increase the speed by 2 … knots, or whatever the fuck you call treadmill speed.  And then there’s sort of a break in the song about 2/3rds of the way through but then THAT starts building up and this part is where the corners of my mouth start twitching and I get super panicky and uncontrollably excited and built up and THEN THE FINAL MINUTE IN A HALF IS JUST CRAZINESS AND I BUMP THE SPEED UP TO AS FAST AS I CAN GO AND I’M JUST FLYING LIKE SCENERY IS SPEEDING PAST ME BUT I’M STAYING IN PLACE AND IT’S THE BEST SONG IN THE WHOLE WORLD AND IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I COULD RUN FOREVER.   It’s a magical feeling, really.  Usually I run at about 6.2 knots and by the end of the song I’m at 7.4. To put that in perspective, 7.5 is “trip and bust your face on the dashboard” type speed for me.  It’s always crazy to me that running is way smoother and less painful at 7.4, while 6.2 I just feel like a bumbling oaf.

Then they have lots of other songs like Get to the Gone and This is Not, which make for awesome “running to the beat” songs.

I actually saw Static-X once while attending my second college.  I brought 3 of my other good Christian friends from Mary Hardin Baylor, and I’d like to think they had a good time, too. It was a great show! Maybe in like, my top 4 favorite concerts, ever.

So today I did 5.3, but it was mostly terrible. My foot felt fine after work, but after running it now hurts like a bitch again.  I ran in my old Brooks, but they did not seem to ameliorate  or exacerbate the foot situation; I should be getting new shosies tomorrow, so we’ll see how that goes.  I may take a 2 day break, but that scares me because a 2 day break always turns into 7 months.

By the way, can I just say that I’m really enjoying the whole Cardio All Day Every Day Even in My Fucking Sleep deal?  It’s really nice not having to split up my workout time between 2 sides of the gym.  I’m really enjoying just focusing on running, even if my foot is plotting against me.  You hear me, foot? You better shape up, or I’ll have you replaced FASTER THAN YOU CAN SAY “PROSTHETIC!”

It done broke


Dammit, this whole blog post was going to be one huge trash talk about Gold’s Gym, but I forgot to take pictures while we were there this morning. Maybe I forgot cos I broke my friggen foot, and I was in so much pain that taking a picture of the treadmill was the last thing on my mind.  

IT’S TRUE. I broke my foot somehow. More like my dumb Rykas broke my foot. Troy said it’s just bruised, but I know.  It’s broken. It all started out so innocently this morning. I was doing some obsessive online comparison shopping when I noticed my foot had sharp pains coming out of the bottom left side when I put it down on the ground. Nothing TOO bad. But while we were getting ready to go to the gym, it reeeeally started with the shooting pain.  I took some ASSAULT powder and 2 liquid gel Ibuprofens and off we went. 

AAAAAND I DID 5 MILES.   Again!  Actually I talked myself into doing just 4 and got of the treadmill, but then was like “uh uh, bitch. It’s 5″ and turned right back around to do one more.  This 5 was insanely terrible; not only did my footsie hurt at random times, but flippin Gold’s gym only believes in playing the sports news and SPIKE TV.  Ugh. There was nothing but me, myself, and Static-x to keep me company for the whole hour. Don’t get me wrong, the same 7 Static-X songs have been keeping me happily rageous and pumped for the past 3 years, but nothing makes time fly like watching a shitty Steve Martin/Queen Latifa movie when you have an hour to kill. 

But yeah, like I said. Fucking terrible. It was all I could do to get to 5 and it took me a full blown 60 minutes, which is 8 min longer than yesterday’s 5. And now my goddamn foot hurts and I’ve been hobbling around the house, whining like a little bitch and wearing a foot brace with one house slipper on the hurt foot.  We laid back and watched LOTR for the rest of the day. Not a bad way to spend a Sunday.. actually, minus the hurt foot it was great Sunday.


Anyhoo. Here’s a picture of me trying out the Jacob’s ladder. Hee hee hee.. first boy I ever dated had one of those… GET IT?  But get your mind out of the gutter, I only heard about it; I was 20 when I had my first “boyfriend” so hell no I wasn’t going to have anything to do with that sort of shit.



Bitch, please. This shit’s easy.

Oh, how about that? Sports shit on the TV.